A semi charmed kind of Life

Because this poem is named after someone who broke my heart, light years ago

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.

Richard Siken

Dear old Love: A note to myself

• I think, that the only way to get over someone is to not try to get over him at all. Savor the memories you shared and all the good times that you went through. Then think about all the things that make the breakup a good idea and sigh a sigh of relief. Analyze the relationship and absorb it, to every last detail. Take it as a learning experience and see what you did wrong or how you could have handled the situation better. Then, deal with the fact that it is, indeed over and what remains between you two is only a mere memory.
• Do not desperately try to get over him via drunken nights with random friends or replacing him immediately with someone else just to regain the feeling of being loved. You will only hurt yourself and others.
• Just breathe, slowly. Rationalize your feelings.
• Meet new people and put yourself out there. People remain in a rut because their horizons are limited.
• Focus on yourself. Treat yourself to something, like a new outfit or a massage or a haircut. Improve your skills. Do the things that you stopped doing because you were attached.
• Do not try to remain in contact unless you never really loved him. Getting updated that he is dating this and dating that is self inflicted masochism and may be cause of unfinished thesis papers.
• Cry when you feel like it, scream in pillows to let the pain out. Pillows will never judge you for loving an asshole too much.
• Do not lie to yourself. Denial can bury the feelings for now but they may still linger and re-surface in the future. Just accept your fate and deal with it.
• Never compare new lovers to past boyfriends. Everyone is different and a lot of people have their pros and cons. Also, we do not want to end up disappointed.
• Do not be bitter and do not stalk. Out of sight, out of mind. Be mature and do not post stuff like “thank God she’s gone” or shit about being single - it just shows immaturity and being in denial. Also, it makes you look like a total ass slash douche.

Really, everything just boils down to acceptance and self respect. Also, I should follow my own advice. :D